How to Turn Admiration or Jealousy into Something Positive

19 May


We all have those people in our lives that we see and wish so hard that we could be, right? I know I do, and with all the media we get everyday we are constantly seeing celebrities and people who we also wish we could be like. Facebook and other social media websites allow us instant access to people we see and want to be everyday. In a way this can be healthy, seeing someone successful, healthy and happy and then taking steps to strive to be like them. But for some people it can go too far in the other direction. Especially if this is someone we are near all the time, for instance someone we go to school with or possibly even a family member.

Sometimes when we see these people who just seem to have it all and are as close to perfect as possible we can get jealous, and jealousy is not an emotion you should be messing with. It is a very cancerous emotion that really does no good for you. So what are you supposed to do when you see that girl in your science class who seems to have it all?

Simple, write down all the things you admire about her (or all the things you admire about Amanda Bynes or someone famous.) Now the key thing here is to now just focus on hair or makeup or anything like that, yes looks may be one of the biggest things you admire about someone. But the key thing we’re trying to accomplish here is to realize that you can become your best self by using your admiration for others in a healthy manner. It is also really important to remember that as amazing as these people may look they truly don’t have it all, and they are far from perfect! That pretty girl in class may actually be a wreck inside because things in her life are actually going down hill for her. So we really shouldn’t put people on such a huge pedestal because we’re all human.

Two things to do to help you find your best you:
1. Write down 10 things you are grateful for in your life.

Examples: 1. My parents 2. My sister 3. My car 4. My wavy hair 5. my job 6. Having running water…you get the idea.

2. Now list out all the people you admire in this world, yes it may be a long list but you don’t have to go over every single person, just the one’s you feel really drawn to at the moment. Now list out the qualities you like about them. Are they really successful in their careers? Did they follow their heart and passions without really caring what others thought? Do they really have body peace and a healthy lifestyle? Etc…

Examples: Kandee Johnson– she has overcome so many obstacles in her life and yet still followed her heart and passions; she helps so many people with her advice, wisdom and optimism; she has a great faith in God that I truly admire; she is an entrepreneur despite everything.

Hayley Williams (from Paramore)- she does what she wants without caring about other people who may not agree or like it; she makes and lives by her own rules; she has an amazing voice and talent for music and song writing and isn’t afraid or ashamed of it; she truly follows her heart, gut and passions; she is “one of the boys” with her band mates, etc.

2.2– Now that you get how to write out these out and look at it as positively as possible you want to look back through them (possibly after giving it a while to settle in and think through it.) If you see patterns like “follow your heart” or “not caring what others think” take note of that! That should really tell you something about your life (and yes those are actually 2 examples from my own journal.) Now think about areas of your life you can implement these things.

When we see people doing what we wish we could do we tend to get even more down on ourselves or even jealous. This is definitely NOT the way we should go about it! Even if we read a book or watch a movie and see someone we admire we should ask ourselves “Why?” It can tell you a lot about what you truly want from life because you can’t actually be someone else you have to strive to be the best YOU. If you want to be more daring and try new things like your sister does than GO FOR IT! (Turn these things you notice into goals with small action steps you can take everyday so you really can become the best you possible!)

This is your life and you have to live it to its fullest everyday. Do what you want to do not what other want you to do. And please, please don’t get jealous of others because they are often fighting battles behind the scenes that would make you think twice about trading places. So go out there and love yourself! Be true to yourself and live life with all the love you can muster!

We see things as we are, not as they are.
-Leo Rosten

I love this quote because it truly shows us that we can become all those things we dream about in other people! We can follow our hearts, dreams and passions. We can be healthy and happy and in love just like everyone else on this planet! We can find our own style and look amazing, that’s part of following our hearts! You can truly become the best you possible and looking at others can help if we use them as a spring-board of positive inspiration and then take action towards those very things we admire in them.

God bless!
Miss Mikele

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3 Responses to “How to Turn Admiration or Jealousy into Something Positive”

  1. Walter May 20, 2010 at 9:10 pm #

    These are powerful approaches in dealing with our jealousies. What most people are not aware is that by succumbing to our jealousy, we have denied ourselves of the opportunity to being out the best in us. We admire the achievement of others but we’re blind to our own capacity. Perhaps we should awaken ourselves and learn to develop our greatness. 🙂

    • livelaugh8 May 21, 2010 at 8:43 am #

      Exactly! When we are jealous of others or caught up in admiring them more than necessary we cut ourselves off at the knees. We are capable of so much more than we think but when we get in these states of jealousy or obsessive admiration we loose sight of all that we can really do! Thank you for your input! -Miss Mikele

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